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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Messages from the Other Side

I don't know if you relate more to
Mulder or to Scully...
but I want to believe.
Image Credit
Obviously, I'm much more Mulder-like.

I believe.

I believe in spirits and things that
go bump in the night.

I used to lead ghost tours
in downtown Orlando, Fl.

I've felt the presence of spirit,
seen a ghost,
and even got stuck in an elevator due to a 
prankster spirit in the old courthouse in Orlando.
I've noticed objects moved and 
witnessed omens and signs.

So - yes.
I do believe.

**************************


Me & Dad 1998
Journal Entry from 
January 26, 2014

I met my friend Rebecca at Dobra Tea Friday evening. 
She is the perfect friend to be around all the time - 
especially now.
You see - she has special powers - 
she has the
gift of communicating with spirits.
I get used to it 
being around her.


My dad died on January 12.
Chris and I spent the week in Metropolis -
just waiting for the funeral.

It was strange on so many levels.
However, it was nice to be around family all week - 
to share the grief.

Waiting all week for a Friday funeral was
so very hard.

I felt my grieving was in limbo.

Once the funeral was over,
we had to head back to Asheville.

That weekend was a blur.
Tears.
So many tears.

Then work on Monday -
horrible.

All of the people just sucked my soul dry.

It was utterly exhausting.

The entire work week I felt my grieving was on hold 
because of my job. 

My grief was so profound.
 My heart weighed tons and it felt the heaviest it's ever been.

Finally it was Friday! I was released into my full on grieving.

Released to feel, to move through, to process...

So I started the weekend with tea and a wonderful friend.

I told Rebecca I was having trouble falling asleep 
if Chris wasn't home. 
Normally I fall right to sleep.
Now I felt like dad was there. I felt uneasy. 

But he wasn't there, was he?

She said, "You could tell your dad to come back later, you need your sleep."

She then did "her thing" - the "other talking".
"No more bumping in the night. This makes Amy uncomfortable."

There it was - the door was open.

Dad was near. Dad was talking to Rebecca.

I sat there with my heart and my brain all a flutter.

The past was screaming at me.

Dad and I started well. We ended well.

But what about all that in between?

What about when I was 17 and 
he and mom divorced?

I sat there vulnerable and ready for anything.

I was blown away when she said, "Your dad loves you. He thinks you are remarkable. That's my word. He is saying something similar. I can't tell what it is. He is in awe of you and all that you do and accomplish. He is going to support you. He is here to help you grieve. He is here for your brother, too, to help him get through. He doesn't say how, but he wants you to know you have his support."

Wow. Just wow.

We continued chatting, eating hummus, and drinking tea.

I told her how I kept hearing "House of the Rising Sun" all week. I open up my Itunes and it's the first thing I see. I play Pandora and it's the first song that plays. 

She said she kept hearing it too.

Synchronicity.

I told her about mom and I's conversation from the other day.

Mom "Did you know that your dad was in a band in high school?"
Me "Yeah. He told me he played the tambourine."
Mom "Yeah (laugh) well he did - but he sang, too. His song was "House of the Rising Sun".

Rebecca laughed. She shook her head from side to side. She said dad just clasped his hands to his head and shook his head saying "Oh, no...no...not one of my proudest moments."

I laughed.

I was taking this all in.

Absorbing it.

Then she said, 
"He wants you to know this is the best he's ever looked."

Wow. 

That's what Aunt Candy said at dad's visitation.

Exact words.

"Well, I believe that's the best he's ever looked."

Chris and I had a good giggle about that. 

I was practically speechless.

Still processing.

Still wrapping my head around dad and I's relationship.

Then she said, "He says you weren't all that bad."

That's when it hit me.

That's the moment everything came together.

That was my first moment of peace in this.

Of course that's what he said!

My dad let it all go long ago.

I thought I had, but never completely.

You see, dad was picky. He was anal. He was set in his ways and every single person was entitled to his opinion.

He would never admit or see any fault in himself.
and when he said,
"You weren't all that bad."

I realized I should let it all go, too.

Rebecca then said, "No, no. I can't deliver all those messages. This is just for Amy. Whoa. He sure is chatty!"

So like him to talk, talk, talk and want to tell everyone everything, messages for all.

I left Dobra feeling more at peace.
I felt blessed.
I felt loved.

Later that evening, 
I noticed my 2 fairies in the hall were moved.
These were both given to me by dad.

Was he giving me a sign?

I slept tons better that evening.
The next morning I got up and 
was making my giant cup of coffee.
I start by adding to my mug
hot cocoa powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
I was going through my morning motions and
went to grab the nutmeg and 
it wasn't there.

I'm pretty damn anal. (just like dad apparently)

Everything has its place and
there is a place for everything.

I couldn't find it.

I then noticed it up on one of the food shelves.

How did that happen?

It was clearly moved and 
I didn't do it.

I was freaked out.

I really think dad, who was just as obsessive 
about where things were,
moved it.

I feel he was communicating with me.

You may believe or not believe.
That is fine either way.

The important thing is I find comfort in this.

I found a great article about
"objects being moved".
Check it out here.

Me & Dad 1978
I love you, dad.

Peace, Inspiration, & Love,
 ~Amy
The Magick Muse

Amy Riddle is an empowerment coach, crafter of sorts, writer,
herbalist, reverend, and all out muse.
She holds a Bachelor of Science in Alternative Medicine with an emphasis on herbs. 
She is a certified professional life coach with the Life Coach Institute of Orange County. 
Amy craves to inspire others to be healthy and whole in body, mind, and spirit. 
She has an affinity for striped socks, stinging nettle, and all things faery.